


From Dust and Shadows

by mansikka



Series: Filling In The Gaps [13]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 12:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14136306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Filler-y stuff for the episode Dust and Shadows





	From Dust and Shadows

There are numerous things going through Magnus' head when he first spots Alec sitting outside. But at the sight of him sat there, squeezing over a bloodied hand and his face more drawn than Magnus thinks he's ever seen it, all other thoughts are pushed from his mind.

He wants to get closer, but Alec has been through something Magnus is sure is going to play on his mind for months—longer even. So he observes him for a few seconds, lets Alec observe him back, and puts just enough space between them so Alec knows he's here with him, but also won't do anything to push.

"You okay?" Magnus says, and although it's a pointless question it's something he wants to hear—even when the exact opposite is written on Alec's face.

"I can't be in that Institute."

"Oh, Alec—"

"Heard you turned in Camille," Alec says in a deliberate attempt to throw him off course. "How'd that go?"

Magnus leans back against a wall reliving the memory of _discarding_ Camille for the final time, and thinks perhaps he loathes himself just as much as Alec is currently loathing himself.

"Honestly?" Magnus replies, losing himself to another wall of memory. "It was awful. We had a lot of history, she and I."

Magnus pauses, needing to be truthful, but also knowing it might not be something Alec particularly wants to hear. "I'm sorry if that's weird."

"It's not weird. You say what you think."

Alec doesn't seem overly fazed by the idea of Camille, though they've only spoken of her briefly, so Magnus doesn't know quite how to judge it. Still. Alec is here, and Alec is hurting, and Magnus needs to do what he can to help.

"Too busy to use the healing rune?"

"I'm fine," Alec replies, avoiding looking at him.

"No, you're not," Magnus says, catching Alec's eye roll that says he's trying to dismiss his words. "You're hurting. Badly. You hope the pain here will overpower the pain there."

Magnus knows what he's talking about, which is why it's so painful watching the same thing happening to Alec. "I wish it were that simple."

"I let a demon in, Magnus," Alec says, and the agony in his voice tests Magnus' resolve against rushing forward to wrap him up in a hug.

"That wasn't your fault," Magnus tells him, because it isn't, there is no way Alec could have prevented that happening.

"I don't know what to say to Clary. I can't face her—"

"But you _will_ ," Magnus insists, "because that's what you do, Alexander. It may take you a minute, but I've seen it up close."

Alec is looking back at him so hard Magnus thinks maybe he's desperate for some reassurance but doesn't really know how to ask.

"I went to your wedding," Magnus adds. "You'll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right."

Alec's eyes lift slowly to look at him and settle on Magnus' face, and though Magnus knows he's right in his convictions that Alec will do the right thing, all he wants to do is offer his support.

"Will you let me heal your hand?" Magnus asks, pushing back from the wall and taking a step towards him, though not too close, giving Alec all the time he needs to react.

Alec stares back hard, and Magnus is half-expecting him to turn away in anger, or fix it himself. But then Alec is sighing, pulling the quiver from his shoulder to rest on the floor, and holding out his arm.

"How's my bow and quiver?" Magnus teases as he gently grips him by the wrist, flaring his magic down by his side before raising it to aim at Alec's hand.

"Fine," Alec replies with a ghost of a smile. "Maybe since it's _yours_ I should give you a few lessons."

"One day, perhaps," Magnus agrees, smiling back and pleased to see Alec's own widening a little. "Though you will absolutely need both hands for that."

Alec watches as Magnus takes away the last of his wounds, watches again as Magnus turns his hand over and raises it to kiss the back of, and smiles in thanks, as after hesitating, Magnus slots their hands together.

"Are you in a hurry to be anywhere?" Magnus asks, telling himself it's not purely for selfish reasons that he wants to have Alec stay a while.

"No."

"Then. Can I convince you to come inside? Perhaps join me for a drink?"

Alec sighs out hard but nods, and raises no objection at all as Magnus tugs on his hand to pull him to his feet, following without comment as Magnus leads him into the apartment.

"Any preference?"

"Anything," Alec says, his eyes darting out around the apartment in interest, and Magnus is pleased he feels at ease enough to explore.

"Have you eaten?" Magnus asks as he fixes them drinks.

"I think so."

"When?"

"I'm not hungry."

Magnus smiles in sympathy, turning with the glasses in his hand and gesturing for Alec to follow him to the couch. Once they're sat and Alec is holding his own glass, Magnus conjures a tray of snacks to the table nearest to them, hoping Alec will at least eat something.

"So. About Camille," Alec says, "how are you? Really?"

Magnus half-wants to chide him for changing the subject. "I—"

"You changed the subject on me when you called me," Alec adds, turning a little more so that he's facing him better, and hesitantly reaching out to hold his hand against the couch cushions.

"That was because—"

"I'm here to listen too," Alec says, frowning a little, "at least, I want to be. I'll try to be. If, you know, you want to talk."

There is a slow wave of warmth that hits Magnus in the stomach and raises up to drift through his chest. He reaches out to clink their glasses together and squeezes Alec's hand back to stall for a few seconds.

"I'm actually better than I thought I would be," Magnus replies, almost surprised by how true that is.

"You knew her for a long time?"

"I did," Magnus agrees, "longer than perhaps anyone."

"Even Ragnor? And… Catarina?"

That Alec has clearly taken the time to remember Catarina after Magnus has mentioned her only once, and only briefly, endears him a little more.

"Perhaps not that long. They both loathed her, of course," Magnus adds with a rueful smile.

"They're your friends," Alec says as he takes an absent sip of his drink and _doesn't_ wince for it. "I get the impression Camille wasn't all that… maybe she wasn't… maybe she hurt you."

"Repeatedly," Magnus says with a self-deprecating laugh. "And yes, that is the… I suppose the only reason for it."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, you don't need to be sorry—"

"I'm sorry anyone's ever hurt you," Alec adds, frowning a little. "I hope I'm not gonna… I hope I don't do anything to hurt you. I don't want to."

Magnus' heart thuds at the sincerity of his words, so stunned for them that he's not sure how to reply. Alec keeps on staring at him as though he knows he's having difficulty, swirling his thumb over the back of Magnus' hand as he does.

"Alec—"

"How's Raphael?" Alec asks, clearly still avoiding talking about what he really needs to talk about.

"Fine now. Furious. Calling Aldertree every vile name under the sun."

"Not like he doesn't deserve it," Alec retorts, frowning harder for it. "I don't trust him for a second."

"You think he's… corrupt?"

"No," Alec says with a shake of his head, "no, just… maybe power hungry, or something. Trying to prove himself."

"Often people who feel the need to prove themselves can be the most dangerous of all," Magnus replies, and for some reason that makes Alec smile.

"Well. You would know."

"I—"

"With all these… years, you've… you know."

Magnus smiles back at that but doesn't know what else to add.

"You're not a lot to get used to," Alec blurts out then, his eyes a little wide for it.

"Alec?"

"Back. Before, when I got... when I was horrible to you about Jace—"

"I understand—"

"Yeah," Alec laughs, squeezing his hand, "that's sort of my point."

"I don't—"

"You're not a lot to get used to," Alec repeats, "you're not. You said it when—"

"I would understand if—"

"You're not, okay?" Alec urges him, squeezing his hand again. "You're not. Please don't think that, because you aren't."

Magnus doesn't know what to make of that, though doesn't quite trust his voice not to be cracking if he speaks.

"I hope you don't mind. That I came here," Alec says then, a little doubt creeping into his face.

"Never," Magnus tells him, "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough here to want to be here."

In fact, Magnus thinks, when the realization that Alec chose _him_ , and his home to take sanctuary in when something this important was getting to him hits, he's more than pleased. He's honored, proud, and more than a little touched. Just the thought of it makes him smile harder, and he tries to school it in before Alec can ask what it's about.

"I do. Feel comfortable here—with you," Alec says, his eyes darting down to Magnus' glass and back up to his face repeatedly, before he's pushing his own glass on the table, and reaching for Magnus'.

"Can you… can you come here?" Alec says with a nervous flick of his hand.

Magnus isn't sure what he's meaning, but then Alec is turning a little more and letting his eyes linger on his mouth, and Magnus understands.

Alec's grateful sigh when Magnus leans in to kiss him stirs something else in Magnus' gut, making his eyes fall closed. He rests a loose hand on Alec's arm and turns a little more towards him, hoping Alec feels that he's in no hurry at all. Alec sighs again, reaching out to grip lightly around Magnus' side, and Magnus smiles for the gesture, particularly when his fingers repeatedly flutter along the hem of his shirt.

Alec blasts out another sigh, and there's a new tension in his body that Magnus isn't sure what to make of. But then Alec is unclasping their hands, and hesitantly sliding his palm up his chest, curling his fingers over his shoulder, tugging him a little closer.

Magnus moves as guided, kissing him back a little deeper, cataloging every little noise that falls from Alec's lips. He's considering a little more, but they're interrupted by Alec's stomach rumbling loudly in protest, and Alec pulls back with an embarrassed laugh as he looks down at himself.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize for being hungry."

"But still—"

"Alexander. I intend to kiss you countless more times."

The blush creeping over Alec's cheeks is beautiful, and Magnus can't resist reaching out to trace his thumb over one of them, cupping his face for a moment before pulling back.

"Do you know what is the absolute best food for situations like this one?" Magnus asks, leaning in for another quick kiss before sitting back.

"Something exotic that I can't even pronounce?" Alec retorts, and Magnus is relieved to see a little teasing there in his words.

"No," Magnus replies, waving a hand to make those snacks he'd conjured earlier disappear, and in their place summoning two overly-large burgers complete with numerous sides. "Junk food."

Alec laughs, then laughs harder when his stomach rumbles again as though it approves, turning to sit more comfortably so that they can eat.


End file.
